Rachel's pity party - all are welcome, BYOB

It's the night before my 29th birthday, last one before the big 3-0. Not only am I none too happy about that, but I have also just discovered that I suck at karate. This would not normally be a problem, but I have unfortunately registered for the JKA National Championships in three weeks and am going to be terrible. So here I sit, with a glass of Jackson Trigg Merlot ($8.50). It is somewhat appropriate as it is trying to be good wine, but is failing miserably. You want to pat it on the head and say "nice try, now go put yourself in stew". For $8.50, it is actually not bad, just like for an old, lazy, chubby, slow, not particularly hard working or dedicated person, I am not bad at karate. However, the wine, like me, cannot really compete with the real thing.