I May Be a Sinner

So...here's the thing: I have yet to get what the big deal is about Pinot Noir. I am currently sipping, and moderately enjoying a decent Burgundy. I have in the past enjoyed a pleasant Italian Pinot Nero, so much so that I had a headache the next day. I have also enjoyed an Oregon Pinot Noir that I bought in Alaska and thought that for roughly half of the ~$60 I paid for it, it was a fantastic wine, almost like a light Syrah. But most of the stuff is thin, acidic and disappointing. So where does this big legend that is the "heart-break grape" come in? I have heard of the finesse, the earthy overtones, the sublime experience that is Pinot Noir, but have yet to experience it. This latest attempt at a reasonable priced Burgundy is leading me to believe that I am just not a Pinot Noir girl. Nice if well made - yes, but you can say that about any grape. In my (limited) experience so far it is a lovely ballet when I would prefer a dirty Tango, it is Celine Dion artfully warbling when I would prefer Lorraine Ellison screaming her guts out, it is delicate vanilla sponge with delightful cherry swirled intricately with rainbows and rose buds when I want the darkest of Aztec chocolate with too much sugar and chili and cinnamon, and maybe some black eyeliner. So, I think maybe I am just not a Pinot Noir personality. I like Rhone wines, I crave heavy Italian Reds, I love those wines that make you want to slide under the table and write bad poetry or hang out with fallen angels and broken human beings. I want wines with skeletons in their closets and beautiful flaws that make them real. I want wines that wear deep coloured velvet and florid silks, no lace unless it is black. I want the Amarone, the scariest Pinotage, the full-bodied blends, the Shiraz from the Black Lagoon. I want spice and smoke and tobacco and leather. I don't want refined beauty, I want something that overwhelms me and makes me glad to be alive to experience the sheer sensory pleasure.

I have obviously had too much of the Burgundy or I would not be writing like this, but it is still just nice, quafable and not a religious experience.

Note that if anyone wants to send me a bottle of Grand Cru Burgundy to try to change my mind - I AM ALL FOR THAT!